I close my eyes and twist. The head comes off easily; it feels like wringing out a slightly damp scarf. Then Durbin makes a hole in the pheasant’s bottom and I stick my hand teclado tfue amazon up and clutch everything inside. Out comes a squelchy mass of once-living flesh. Durbin grabs the heart and cuts it open. “Very nutritious,” he says. I am slightly sick in my mouth. I pluck, and soon I have a pile of bloodstained feathers – and a nude bird. Durbin sticks it on a spit over the fire. When it is cooked, we eat it. It tastes slightly of excrement but I still feel strangely empowered. It was much easier than I thought it would be, to rip this bird apart. The author says his geographical distance has yielded two benefits: not only has it given him perspective, it has “let me know what other people think of one’s own country – which is always instructive”. What should you do? You can steal food from supermarkets but the rotting corpses on the floor of Sainsbury’s will be fetid fonts of infection. And if you try to sit out the plague in your home, you could burn or drown. After a lightning strike, fires will begin and they will not stop. And if you live in London, the Thames barrier will fail without electricity and the low-lying areas of the city will flood. Most people haven’t a clue where or what the Alpujarra is; to have heard of it, you need to have read Gerald Brenan’s South from Granada or the turgidly romantic 19th-century travelogue by Pedro-Antonio de Alarcón – or indeed my own book. The only quotable quote about the place comes from Fernando of Aragón: “I’d rather a grave in Granada,” he quipped, “than a palace in the Alpujarra.” Turn the heat to low. https://www.cifnet.it/products/cover-samsung-j5-2017-glitter-liquido-8custodia4cover3677 Sweat the onions until soft and translucent, about 10 minutes. https://www.custodia4cover.it/products/coque-custodia-cover-fundas-hoesjes-j3-j5-j6-s20-s10-s9-s8-s7-s6-s5-plus-edge-b10544-attack-on-titan-scounting-ff0359-samsung-galaxy-a50-case Add the carrots and celery, fry gently for five minutes, stir in the garlic and tomato purée, and cook for a minute. Tip in the sherry, let it bubble away to reduce by a third, then return the meat to the pot. https://www.cifnet.it/products/cover-samsung-galaxy-a5-2017-music-8custodia4cover3687 So, it comes to this. No matter how hard you try, Britain will probably become a nuclear wasteland. The snails that are your lunch will either die, or look very weird. So, again, what to do? My considered advice is this. You, Guardian reader, need to begin building a boat – a sailing ship, actually – to take you to – yes, Canada. Before you leave the city you should pause at a library and steal the entire boat-making and maintenance shelf. Canada may be your only hope of salvation. And that is as fitting an obituary for our civilisation as I can type. In The End, it turns out you don’t just have to be the heroine of Survivors. You need to bloody well be Noah too. What would happen if you awoke one morning and everyone was dead? Or if, less melodramatically, the world as we know it – and our teetering financial systems – ceased to function? What if you awoke to find your bubble-wrapped, gilded life was over, and for good? Could you survive? Could I? • A big picture spread (pages 18-19, 5 April) showcased photos of daily life in Warsaw, part of our current New Europe series, which this week is highlighting Poland. One picture showed Jewish visitors praying near a synagogue in a district called Osiedle Za Zelazna Brama, which we translated as “Behind the Iron Curtain”, suggesting some cold-war link. In fact, zelazna brama harks much farther back, to a long-ago park gate. The southern side of the Contraviesa is covered in vines. The wine that is produced here, costa, is believed by locals to be the only wine on earth worth drinking. This is, in fact, far from the truth; until now costa has been a dismal brown wine with a bouquet that puts you in mind of wet dogs. The decision provoked anger and a threatened boycott from those who were angered by the suggestion of any moral equivalence between Eta’s atrocities and the Spanish state’s response – which included the use of paramilitary death squads. I am (vaguely) confident I will not starve. But there is one other thing I am sweating over: nuclear power stations. Professor Alan Weisman wrote The World Without Us, a description of what he believes would happen to Earth if we all vanished. https://www.custodia4cover.it/products/cover-samsung-plus-1custodiasamsung6707 I call him. He says I am right to worry. https://www.custodia4cover.it/products/coque-custodia-cover-fundas-hoesjes-j3-j5-j6-s20-s10-s9-s8-s7-s6-s5-plus-edge-b36935-stitch-galaxy-ff51506-samsung-galaxy-a10e-case Why? Because most nuclear plants are water-cooled. Water, he explains, in a dry, calm voice, needs to circulate around the reactors, or they will explode. https://www.cifnet.it/products/coque-custodia-cover-fundas-hoesjes-j3-j5-j6-s20-s10-s9-s8-s7-s6-s5-plus-edge-b20220-game-of-thrones-old-god-illustration-b0477-samsung-galaxy-s20-case If there were no humans to operate it, the plant would shut down automatically, and the water would be cooled with diesel fuel. For about a week. Then the heat from the reactor would evaporate and expose the core. “It will either melt down or burst into very radioactive flames,” he says. So what would you do, Professor Weisman? “I would probably go to Canada,” he says. https://www.custodia4cover.it/products/tennessee-volunteers-vols-3-cover-iphone-7 “There aren’t many nuclear power stations in Canada.” It’s not all bad: Fun things you could do after the apocalypse• Pop into the National Gallery and take Jan Van Eyck’s Portrait of a Man off the wall. (If you have no taste, take a Renoir.) The Van Eyck is hanging in the Sainsbury Wing.